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Men can profess all day that they love intelligent women, but when I watch my smart, educated, successful and very attractive friends struggle with dating, I am suspicious.So, whenever something appears to be true but receives adamant denial, I know that the problem is typically the way we are thinking about it and describing it due to societal hang-ups and an inaccurate view of ourselves.Likewise, to say that men don’t want to date an intelligent woman is incorrect because many men do want a woman who will turn him on sexually and intellectually, that is part of passion as well.However, given society today and the way many people ignore or deny how passion and attraction work, with so many women taking the lead in both dating and relationships, intelligence in academics or career may be detrimental to a woman’s dating habits.
This rumor is spread, for the most part, by intelligent women who are overlooked by men in favor of someone else who they deem to be dumber. As a matter of fact, intelligence isn’t really a huge factor in attraction. And therefore, his criteria is different for selecting someone than for instance your bosses.
To get past this, I have to get rid of any preconceived notions or biases or grudges I might have and I try to see the dilemma in as raw a fashion as possible.
Doing this means thinking about what we might be “trying to say” instead of what we are saying.
Men use their drive, single-mindedness, goal oriented traits in both the boardroom and on the way to the bedroom. Their intelligence and creativity are used to entice and seduce the opposite sex. A woman who is driven, goal-oriented in dating comes off as desperate, pushy and aggressive.
It’s not that these are bad traits, but they go against the grain of natural sexual tension and attraction.
And we tend to believe that a reflection of someone’s book smarts is how far they have gone in their career or education.